Thursday, October 25, 2007

Where I run too..

La Cumbre San Lucas:





































10.17.07_PEDM_plan estrategia del Municipio

Yesterday was the meeting to discuss the PEDM with local representatives from the aldeas of Cabañas. The reunion was held in the church. Elma and I were there early, to arrange the chairs, set up, place some flowers. The other young lady, Dalila, from la comision de la transparencia was also there early to help setup. She’s very sweet as well. Has a nice face. She works all alone in la comision, and so I told her I would stop by and see if there was anything at all I might be able to help her with. The meeting was very long, and I’m not sure just how productive it was either…it seems the representatives from the patronatos are not much for words, or group work, or digesting new information and processing it in a critical way, which was basically what the facilitators were asking them to do. But the open discussion part fell unexpected upon the part of the patronatos. The meeting itself was part of a process to create a PEDM that was democratic, that included the voice and or opinion of the people, but this meeting seemed empty of all things passionate and opinionated. For some…perhaps I am wrong, er I hope I am, but I can’t be sure. It just seemed to be so superficial, or non-result-producing.
More than half of the men left after lunch. The few women that were there came with their children, and they all stayed till the end. It was hard to know if they came only for the food. (Which seems to be a common crime here among campesinos who go to reunions.) They are not motivated, and in all honesty we have to ask, why should they be? Its not as if there has been great results in their life times, there is a simple life and hard work, slow paced work, because why work faster when it will always be there, and the results are no different whether you do things slowly or with vigor.

During the reunion, I was a quote-un-quote faciladora, but I really felt in no position to instruct the campesinos about anything, esp. about their aldeas and their casarias in their communities. I know much less then they do about their own surrounding. The problem was, I knew much better how to follow instructions and fill out questioners, in other words, how to be a student. Therefore, between the two of our skill sets, there was a chasm that prevented total comprehension or progress.

10. 19.07_CUTS to remember
Today was a good Honduran day. It started off with hot water and sunshine. (It had been a long 3 days without either) Then a bus ride to Sta Rita where we got a jálon to Jaral, where there was a reunion de capacitation in the centro commercial, which is muy muy bonita. The coffee and cakes, almuerzo, and helado where all good, but most of all, the lecture was great! This was due to the passion and intelligence of the speaker, a man from la comisión de la transparencia in Sta. Rosa. He spoke to us about auditing of the ERP funds, in other words, the battle against corruption! It’s true that this is just beginning, the idea of transparencia, the idea of truly effective and honest democracy, and it’s great to be a part of it, despite seeing the long long dry, er rather washed away road ahead!
After the reunion, Elma and I joined Patí for our joint haircuts! I’ve never gotten such a quick cut! The poqueña muchacha just sprayed, combed, and snipped, snipped, without a second thought. I thought about a US haircut for a woman that can cost as much as $200, which would come to about 3,600 Limperas—an amount that would leave me homeless and starved. The lady didn’t do a totally terrible job…I wouldn’t say it was a good job either…but it certainly was corte! Patí got her hair chopped after me, and I have to say, the same quick scissor action took place, and patí didn’t seemed too phased about it…though I can’t say I liked the results of her haircut either… but then again, I did say 3,600 limperas for a gringa cut...



10.24.07__uncomfortable places without luz
I had my first religious experience in Honduras. It was inevitable and honestly, necessary. In a country where the religious influence is deafening (literally if you are speaking of the Evangelical branch) it was foolish of me to try to avoid it no matter what my own religious belief’s are or aren’t. That said, I’m not looking to embrace it at every oportunidad, but I am trying my hardest to not be judgmental. This is hard to do. Mostly, I just bite my tongue (if I could articulate my thoughts in spanish that is…and my thoughts in english I must bite as well.)
I was invited over to mi compañera de trabajo Elma’s house for la cena de tamales. That day we held the 2nd taller (workshop) of the PEDM with the patronatos and various representatives of the community. I have to say that I felt this taller was much more successful than the previous, in that the people seemed to understand a bit better what was going on, even if the majority did not pay much attention to the overall proceso, or rather the entire front end of the presentation that Suyapa from Visión Mundial gave for the second time to almost the same crowd. Even though the number of campesinos this time around had doubled and we all suspected for reasons of food and not for reasons of community investment. After almuerzo, we broke into 4 groups and did a practice worksheet of what the community representatives will have to do in las asembleas comunitarias in the weeks that come. I’m excited because I get to go out into each of the communities and assist in this process! Each group needed to fill out a form including dates and names, and then the groups had to prioritize the needs of the community, and come up with types of projects that their communities might execute to fix the problems. A few observations: besides lack of a decent level of literacy among the group, there was the confusion over certain aspects of critical thinking. Such as: the difference between a problem, a necessity, and a type of project that might offer a solution to the prior-mentioned problems of the communities. There was high comprehension of what problems existed or rather, what the community was missing, what was broken, what was beyond repair…(such as the road outta town)but not such a high level of comprehension for how to resolve such problems. This idea of critical thinking brings me back to my religious experience…sin luz…
At la casa de Elma, after our light cena of tamales y café eaten in oscuridad broken only by the flame of a candle solita and the low glow of the fogon’s fire, people began to filter in for the night’s festivities. Elma informed me that a church group was coming, but I did not really know what that meant, only that there would be cake de tres leche, the only kind of postre I’ve eaten in Honduras, humido y very sweet. When I entered the salon adjacent to la cocina, the band had arrived—two guitars, one base, a violin, and a tambourine. The instruments were larger then some of the players who played them. The song began, upbeat and high pitched and all the gatherers in the room began to clap and sing along to a song of jesus that I surely had never heard before. After a few songs, people began to pray, but I must describe this prayer because I have never experienced anything like it. Near the end of the song, a few strums vibrating every couple of seconds, the candlelight’s flickering, the rain still falling, the people bending to their knees, the night’s cold slowly creeping in, the voices began to rise. They rose in prayers, prayers like cries, cries out to a Señor who was being thanked, being begged for relief, for help, for understanding, for an end to the pain that was dictating the desperate pitch to their cries. After 5 minutes they did not subside, nor after ten, for more than twenty minutes every voice in the room was relentlessly rising and falling, following invisible lines that supposedly rose to open ears in the heavens. The night continued in a rhythmic and repetition fashion of song, prayer, and reflection. The reflection, or rather biblical interpretation is what struck me. After reading a section from the bible the leader of the session would ask someone to interpret that passage he’d read, or perhaps a single palabre from within the passage. What was the significance?—he’d ask. I was shocked to hear peoples’ voices, which I’ve never heard speak before, volunteer boldly their thoughts. These interpretations were insightful, heartfelt, and intelligent. They could read this one book, they could think about it critically, they could speak their minds about it. This one obra was the class they had studied for during their entire lives. I was especially pleased to hear the voices of the women, rich in opinion. Their voices came out clear and loud and without an ounce of pena. I was relieved in one moment, then shaken and frightened the next. When their prayers would start to come out more violent and intense and chaotic all I could do was clench my eyes, my face facing the ground, and tunnel myself into a safe place and hope it would be over soon. When the very final session of prayer came I could not help but feel pain and sorrow and the awe of a subdued freight. I itched to leave once we were all upon our feet again. Part of me felt like a traitor, or intruder upon their personal releases; however, I was glad to have had the opportunity to understand a slight shred better what they needed to live. All the social restrictions of their sexes and their economic classes were shed in this evening, and their own self-expression came from both a dark place in their hearts, and a bright place in their hopes. I’m not sure when I will opt to partake in another such evening, but I will never forget the ceremony I was part of. What is a normal, everyday kind of ritual for my fellow community members of Cabañas, was for me, a somewhat cultish ceremony from an ancient time passed. I left Elma’s house half frozen, the luz still had not returned, and thus I made my way home by the power of the moon.

Friday, October 12, 2007

Becoming Honduran_Week 1



10.07.07_Sunday de lluvias

I was just thinking, if I were in the states, a rainy Sunday as such would probably be spent in bed, fishing around on the internet, reading some Economist, and drinking a mug of coffee before taking a long walk to downtown.
In France, I would’ve gone to Claire’s flat, talked and listened to music as she rolled cigarettes and put the electric kettle on to boil so we could drink cup after cup of instant coffee, or perhaps vanilla tea and dissect our romantic dramas.
Here in Honduras, I cannot sleep in past 6:10—it’s the roosters. So I get up. I wash some clothes in the pila; pour some leftover coffee from the family thermo; eat my cornflakes with water; head out with Carmen to get the corn kernels ground into mortar; help make the tortillas for almuerzo; and follow the nimble cowboy boots of my 15yr old host brother Nestor to the aldea de Llano, where Juan senor has family that will serve us café con leche with a side of galletes.




I’ve officially completed my first week in site.

After only a handful of emotional burnouts, and some classic awkward moments “outside of my comfort zone” as Peace Corps likes to call it, I seem to be doing ok…I even survived my very first bee sting! …25 yrs and counting and the bastards finally got me in Honduras…on the sole.





Working in the Municipalidad of Cabañas has gone pretty smoothly. They don’t need much help with the ERP propuestas (proposals) that I was told I would be working on. The Unidad Tecnica pair went to the training sesh last year for it, and they are doing it at the normal Honduran pace. I am interested in learning, so I have helped some on the current proposals and suggested a potential reformatting of the ERP form to make them more user-friendly. (I’m so American)
Besides helping type and teaching short-cut keys, I have been assigned to design the Municipio’s logo, which everyone has taken a great interest in, and so I’ve been more than happy to come up with some concepts in correlation with their ideas. (Will post finished logo on blog.)



Besides work in the Muni, I have spoken with the teachers at the Colegio to line up an English class for the seniors, one day of the week after school.
Friday I volunteered to assist the committee that is currently organizing a cabildo infantil, which is a cabildo abierto para los niños, or rather, a youth empowerment/civic education workshop. They are in need of a logo and mascot.
Other projects I’m currently researching for the site are:
1. The rural tourism project that a previous volunteer worked on, and still has great potential if I can collaborate with Vía Vía hotel in Copán Ruinas.
2. Local products potential for sale, which will involve contacting the women’s groups in the Aldeas that make their own crafts.
3. The implementation of signage for all the local businesses and streets, and a littering awareness campaign/ or rather a beautification of all the neighborhoods—this I will need to speak to a fellow volunteer about who has done a similar project in the area.

I’ve also received the materials for Proyecto Ciudadano (Project Citizen) from Alejandrina (the Muni-D Project Manager) and so I will be starting on new illustrations for the booklet to speak more towards Honduran culture.

There are other projects that Sarah (my site mate) is working on that I will also be contributing to, such as the start-up of a Women’s Health NGO called Vída a la Vída, which needs a brochure, logo, and website created asap.

As far as work is concerned, I am more than busy. For that, I am really thankful.



There was an evento politica on Friday, which was really fun. The girls of the office and I worked our butts off. Elma, Roxan, Patty, and a few other ladies whose names escape me, helped with the set up. The parque really looked great. (see pics) The little stage is a nice touch, and they are fully equipped. I already felt pride for this community. Most of the ladies are still in school, working on their bachalereta, which is a two-year kind of diploma that takes place between colegio and Universidad. It’s nice to have a group of girls here to look out for me and keep me in the loop. They are all really sweet and were constantly taking care of me during the evento.





After the madness of the evento and committee meeting for el cabildo infantil I met up with Sarah and little Nestor to go running. Nestor and I ran all the way to a neighboring Aldea la Cumbre de San Lucas, that’s about an hour away. It was ALL up hill and we barely made it, but Nestor kept on telling me how cerca we were, and I believed him! When we finally did llegamos, it was already starting to turn dark, so on the way back ALL down hill I fell into two huge mud holes and got my new kicks pretty feo-ed up. Nestor was soo proud of us, he was bragging to his brother and dad when we got back! I took my cold shower without a single grimace that night.





10.06.07_Sabado to go
Woke up early as usual and I and little Nestor were the only ones to stir. I had cereal/oatmeal mix with milk and coffee, washed a few clothes, and headed to the parque to catch the busito to Copán. Sarah was running late and so we missed the busito, but luckily the ex-mayor who she is friends with was going that way and so we got a jálon to Sta Rita, where we then took the busito to Copán.



The pueblo of Copán itself is just so preciosa euro/hondu mix—more euro stilo than Honduran. We walked around, went to the banco, made a few food purchases, and then went to a few cafes to check out the views, before finally settling on one where the espresso machine was actually functioning and so I treated myself to a cappuccino and sweet cheese bread. It was just perfect. Not as authentic as the café in El Paraíso, but still my senses were very much satisfied. We then visited a few gift shops and variety stores before heading to the cheap internet café, 10limps an hour! We ran into Ben, the San/Wat volunteer there, and also another Jika volunteer so we went to a little place for lunch where Kelly, the wife of Ben, joined us for almuerzo-Baleadas the size of your head! I got an iced coffee that reminded me so much of Café Flower in Toulouse and a big plato de frutas, that reminded me of Sta Lucia…like I said, euro/hondu mix! We talked mostly about work, project ideas, development, Peace Corps, what we did before, what we will do after. The time passed quickly.

When we finally returned to Cabañas later that afternoon I was glad to be back in Honduras Honduras in my pueblito de Cabañas where the dirt street in front of my house was continual fútbol alley, and the men still trotted by on their tired mares, their machetes and white brimmed hats an unofficial uniform for the campo. That night I took my place next to Carmen, molding corn mortar into flat round disks.

Tuesday, October 2, 2007

CABAÑAS_home to be




09.29.07
Bueno, somehow I ended up here.
I don’t remember exactly what inspired my application, or what I possibly thought I was going to be doing nearly 6 months later; but where I am, what I am living, certainly never crossed my mind. This is for several obvious reasons. I had no clue what life was like here, in Central America, in Honduras, in the departemento de Copan, in the pueblito of Cabañas, in la casa de la familia Alvarado Robles.



The PCV swearing in ceremony at the embassy was as all ceremonies must be: a few inspiring words, a few recognitions, and an oath of allegiance. The pool party as the Ambassador’s house, which followed, was as equally anti-climatic. I wore flower panties and a tee in lieu of a real bathing suit, which I had failed to bring back from the site visit. Perhaps the celebrations would’ve been more inspiring if I wasn’t so anxious and exhausted thinking about the future. The highlight was the grapefruit trees at the ambassador’s house, the first ones I’ve tasted since landing!



Traveling to and fro has taken up my days and energy as of lately. In total I have spent 4.5 days just getting to site and back. Bumping oneself back and forth between old and new, foreign and American—it’s amazing I managed to condense everything back into that same suitcase and backpack, only to explode all that stuff again in another room I will eventually call home. Now that I’m here in my site again, for good, I wonder how long it will take me to want to stay…

I said goodbye to my host family in Sta Lucia early Friday morning and took the bus to Tegucigalpa where I eventually took a Hedman Alas bus again for the most direct route to my site. The trip was terrible. The bus on the way from San Pedro to Copan Ruínes broke down twice, and so I and two other male passengers were stuck in the dark, hoping the driver would come back and the bus would somehow reach our final destination. Eventually we did arrive in Copan Ruínes just past the stroke of midnight and beyond the point of exhaustion. A man with a van was waiting for the three triste passengers to transport us to the hotel san josé, where I paid 200 limperas, my last limps, to sleep in a humid dim room with a sad fan puffing away in the corner. I would’ve cried, but I didn’t have the energy, instead I laid down upon that foreign bed without another thought of where I was, or rather, where I wasn’t. Mayor Napo’s call awoke me at 6am.



Napo sent his driver (who reminds me of a Honduran James Dean, pistol and cig hanging out, one from the mouth, the other from the pant’s back. We rode into town, music blasting, dirt flying and a strong western sun starting to blaze. I thought just how bizarre I looked here, with all my unnecessary stuff, with my pale skin, with my dumb gringa grin.



Cabañas is a sweet little town. Simple and pretty. The typical central parque is built around the oldest ceiba tree in town with a catholic church standing in the far left corner facing that tree. This particular layout is a tradition that apparently comes from the Spanish conquistadors. It is one of the more agreeable repercussions of their stay. The town’s contents are few: a river passing by, a few pulperias, the municipalidad, a handful of comedors, a billar (pool hall), a centro de computacion (internet café) and a new farmacia and clinica next to my family’s house.



The family here is beautiful. The Alvarado Robles have four children, the oldest son is 18, their only daughter is 17 who is my new sister, and the other two boys are twelve and 14. My new room actually has a place to hang up clothes, a table to do my work, and a nice and firm bed!
I felt immediately taken care of, and as independent as I once was, I realized how I had started to accept my dependence on the Honduran people, in particular, the families I have become a part of.
My new sister and brothers showed me around town as I sketched my locator map. We stopped to buy delicious Honduran-style popsicles that I could eat a million of. We sat in the parque, just licking away at our melting ice, milk, and vanilla flavored coldness and I felt pretty lucky.




Last night the family watched as I drew my map on the computer, and then they sat and watched me as I unpacked each article from my enormous suitcase, one piece at a time, I tried to put my life into some order. It feels cozy, this room, this family, and even though I do want my privacy at times, I’d rather they crowd me than ignore me in that awkward way people do. Families here I never hear fighting. I was thinking about that after I got off the phone with my querida family of El Paraiso, never do they even raise their voices. It’s a preciosa thing.



This morning we walked to see the campo and pick up the last of my stuff from Mayor Napo’s house. After lunch we walked to an aldea and ventured along side a brook until we came upon the waterfalls and water pools where people swim. The youngest boys dashed up the rocks as fluidly as the water itself, while I, Carmen and Alicia tried to keep up. The father was busy hacking away at branches with his machete to clear the path up ahead. The water was freezing, but the rush felt amazing on my muddy and roughed-up feet. Once I was in up to my pecho, there was no turning back. We returned home in our mojado (wet) clothes and then Carmen and I went for a run to another Aldea across el puente where they bring the coffee beans to be ground by the one guy who owns the machinery to do it. We ran there and back and then joined the boys in a game of fútbol, which I definitely suck at, but it’s fun trying. They kids are amazing! Born to play, is true in Honduras. We continued to play as the rain started it’s daily routine and eventually me and Carmen excused ourselves and ran into the casa to start preparing the tortillas. She taught me how to grind the corn meal into a finer dough, which we then took globs of, rounded them, and then patted into perfect soft circles, which we threw upon the wood burning stove to cook.